it all turns upon man

Breaking Bad and the Law

2011-02-14T15:25:00.000-08:00

I have loved watching the show Breaking Bad since the first episode aired here on ABC2 a couple of years back. At first it seemed a bizarre black comedy and I was cheering for Walter as he began acting with balls and intelligence to stick it to the world and more particularly to his annoying buffoon of a brother-in-law. If you don't know the show then perhaps best to google it.
Since the beginning of the show it has taken darker and darker turns and there are points where I've ceased to sympathise with Walt. That's fine..I still love the show and eagerly await seeing more. At the end of the last season it left me pondering ideas like karma and in time also things like ..of all things..the Jewish Law. These reflections were refreshed when I actually went to church (because my wife was preaching).
Following the lectionary readings for a couple of weeks left us thinking about the ideas expressed in old testament thought and then in Jesus rather Buddhist sounding teachings on the attitudes behind our attempts at following of the law.
What had occurred to me ,and no doubt to the shows producers, was the way in which Walter's "breaking bad", his willingness to do 'wrong' things, was increasingly though subtly turning his world into a worse place. The common idea of karma is about personal consequences but I wonder if we can think of doing wrong as allowing into the whole universe a greater level of disorder and chaos. A greater flowering of what is perceived by us as 'evil' is fertilised by our actions.
In contrast I can see how 'the law' (whichever law) is an attempt at defining conduct that will oppose this destructive disorder. In a sense allowing for a flowering of goodness. One can see that old testament law was harsh and restrictive by our modern understanding but was able to help civilise a largely ignorant and cruel universe. Jesus views are a development in the changing world he found himself and still obviuosly a model I find useful. He goes beyond the slavish following of rules as the Pharisees are portrayed as doing. Instead we are to operate at a higher level upon our attitudes. Not good enough to simply avoid adultery. Don't even lust after another woman! Well we aren't going to live up to that but that is maybe the point. It leaves no room for self-righteousness and points to the fact that laws are not about rules but for helping establish a way of being that brings goodness to the most number of people.
This way of viewing things also forms my understanding of Jesus actions on the cross. I haven't for years anymore found the equation that Jesus died on the cross for my sins equals God's forgiveness. It was useful for a while and many people still find some help in it. I can see now a broader picture and a more compelling understanding that calls me to act likewise. It is in the idea of "breaking good". All kinds of things in the world do evil and Jesus sacrifice is an example of where a person has decided to respond to bad being done without doing anything. Instead of responding to violence with more violence he has volunteered to 'soak some of it up'.
It is a revolutionary concept also mirrored by Ghandi in the last century. How different it would be if instead of war we organised a never ending line of volunteers to stand up and die without fight. Perhaps older people instead of young men. I doubt an enemy could remain evil enough to withstand such a force. People know instantly who is doing the wrong. It gets much more confused when both sides are shooting.
All in all BreaKING bAD is another example of how watching someone do what is wrong helps you know what is right. I am really looking forward to the 3rd season.

2009-12-18T17:38:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been trying to clarify my thoughts and feelings especially in regard to the climate scepticism I outlined in my last post. It revolves around the feelings we have in the west to our consumption and the effects that has on the planet. (Self loathing one commentator called it)

In addition there is a sense that we benefit in world trade from the poverty in other parts of the world. Guilt. Mixed in there too is a love for the environment and a growing desire for a planet wide peace; an idealistic hope that nation states will act in broader ways more akin to ‘enlightened self interest’.

All this where my scepticism begins. I just have to accept some science that says we are causing climate change but I can’t personally know that. It is a faith I have. I have always been sceptical in matters of faith. I am concerned because all the liberal humanistic outcomes I would like to see in the world have been lumped in with issues of global warming. I am sure many supporters have jumped on the bandwagon because the issues seem to fit well together. I just think that is a dangerous situation in politics but I am too ignorant to really know why.

In my last post there was also an apparent contradiction about man not being at the centre of the universe yet my blog is focussed on it all turning upon man. (from the quote of Dietrich Boenhoffer in the first post) This is not hard to clarify as I mean that in human affairs now, more than ever in history, everything is determined by humans. God is properly sidelined and there is only an occasional hiccup thrown to us by nature to let us know we are not totally in control. But in a grander view it only matters to us. If we fuck the planet too thouroughly we may die but she won’t. We do not mourn for dinosaurs. Something superseding humanity is unlikely to mourn for us. Merry Xmas !

I am a Climate Sceptic !

2009-12-08T18:56:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if I qualify as a climate sceptic. I am not a born again believer when it comes to popular notions of climate science and I am a natural sceptic in all things, so I suppose I am a climate sceptic. I will have to clarify however as it is never as simple as a news headline.

I don’t doubt people who tell us the climate has changed. I can see within in my lifetime how the weather patterns have shifted. I don’t doubt that humans are having a negative impact on our world and I am consuming more than my fair share. I don’t doubt the high probability that CO2 is the cause of the change in weather but a few things make me sceptical about the certainty of all this. They are mostly human things too. It all turns on humanity after all.?

The latter is the starting point. It all turns upon man. Are we really the centre of the universe? That is a religious perspective held by many and has a parallel in the popular discussion of climate science. That is after all what I am talking about; the popular science. I have no science degree to comment on anything deeper and surprisingly neither do many people who pronounce loudly on the issues.

Then there is a human propensity to believe people when they say the sky is falling. Again, it is a religious notion that there will be some kind of judgement day. Many of us can be made to feel guilty quite easily and if you’ve been a churchgoer then it is certainly part of the territory.

So all of the above just makes me edgy when politicians and other advocates begin pushing these same buttons on climate . One gets the feeling that a manipulation born of nothing more than belief and a desire to be popular is driving all kinds of leaders. Because they often know little of the science themselves they belittle any opposition with name calling and not a lot of evidence. It does not give one hope for a sensible outcome.

As someone who does walk deliberately in the Christian tradition, all be it a non-theist one, the response to caring for my descendants future may be similar to someone harping on about carbon footprints. But I would be careful about making religious statements and talking of catastrophic outcomes. Whatever happens I doubt the planet is threatened by our puny species and our end will not come as a catastrophe unless there is an equally unlikely worldwide nuclear war. What might happen is going to be gradual. We will learn more. If it is getting obviously worse because of humans we have the capacity as a species to change things rapidly. If it turns out not to get worse and/or climate change is, in due course, found to be influenced by factors outside of our control then a whole lot of trust will be smashed. Changes that we want for the good of humanity may be reversed by the powers that will come to the fore in that political meltdown. I have a bad sense that may be the catastrophe of this century.

Tour de Timor

2009-09-15T04:53:00.000-07:00

Well the tour has come and gone and I feel proud and honored to have taken part in the first major sporting event in this new country. There would be many things to talk about but I'll have to pick just a few.
Looking back now it feels very much like we were all cooperating , officials, cyclists, volunteers and the people of Timor, to make this special event a success. It was more than a race. It was also billed as Race for Peace as the President wanted to create something positive along with the race after many years of visitors coming for conflict resolution type reasons. As a race it was remarkably well run over 5 days of racing with some hard climbing over large and beautiful mountains. People lined the course everywhere and my arms were sore from waving. Actually they were more sore from all the potholes. This was a road race on mountainbikes over very patchy roads but that was part of the appeal for me. The bike was perfect for it and I only had one flat tyre and a broken chain on a really horrible downhill section on day 5. I finished 77th overall after a couple of bad days but I was rarely near the elite young men at the front who were hours faster over the 450klm.

A wonderful sense of place remains strong with me. The mountain villages , beautiful people and pretty views were worth the pain of day4.

Thank you Timor Leste. I hope to be back some time soon.

Tour de Timor !

2009-06-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I found the idea exciting but when I was puttering around the kitchen a couple of Saturdays ago and the Radio National news announced the Tour de Timor I knew I wanted to go. It took a few days to think about it but I knew I would.
So I have my tickets booked and I found a nice frame and fork to race with alot of old bombproof gear that I could build it up with. I plan to leave it behind if there is a need for it. It has turned out rather sweet.
The race itself should be a lot of fun with the major challenges being my first visit to a developing country and the unknown nature of the accomodation and food. It seems like a brilliant way to see alot of this new nation and meet its people. I hope there is a good field of locals and internationals.
Check it out www.tourdetimor.com

On being too comfortable

2008-11-22T19:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things just come together in way that confirms all of my opinions about life. It happened this week when I was seduced by the idea of a shiny new bicycle. I usually collect old bikes that people have finished with and I race bikes that have some distinctly retro elements. My road bike has well used ‘531’ steel forks for comfort. My mountainbike is a hardtail with classic 7speed thumbshifters. I just can’t see the point in following fashions that are no improvement and cost money into the bargain. This may not be interesting unless you are a bike rider but there are only four real improvements that have been made to the first simple mountainbikes. In order; indexing gears, ‘clipless’ or click-on pedals, v-brakes and tubeless tyres (which allow you to run low pressures over rocks)
Well this week I thought I’d experiment again with a springy full suspension mountainbike. After all, everyone else is doing it. After my first ride I have decided I don’t like it and it represents all that is wrong with the world! To be honest it wasn’t that bad to ride but it did have me comparing it to lots of woes in the world. One of the reasons full suspension is popular is that downhill bike racing is popular. There is no doubt that the bouncy bikes are good for this and after all mtb racing came out of going downhill. However I am a cross-country man and where I live the hills are a long way apart. Even on the close rocky trails near my house I found the new bike’s height a disadvantage and the weight and slack angles noticebly harder to push around.
So number one thought:Don’t do things just because others are!
A lot of people like going downhill because it takes no effort. Its like making money when the market is strong. Lets all take the easy ride downhill…weeeee.
Number two thought: Life isn’t all downhill and going light helps.

The current trend seems to have been about getting fat and lazy and avoiding effort, carrying too much debt and complaining to government to bail you out when the chairlift company goes broke.
My new bike has hydraulic disc brakes. They are not super expensive ones so perhaps that matters. They don’t work as well as my old disc brakes..the ones that use v-brake levers on the rim. They weigh more and are more costly and complicated. I should have known.
Number three thought: If it seems complicated maybe it’s a con.
Boy am I glad I refused my clever adviser’s idea to make more money.
Today I rode my old bike again and it reminds me of my marriage. Everything works really well and the bits that annoy me sometimes are very predictable and I kind of love them too. It helps me realise that I AM going slower but it is because I have been taking it easy. I know this because I know the bike and can’t blame it for my failings. A good marriage works like that too if you’ll let it. Sometimes it seems some people are too keen to jump onto something new and then complain that it is just as bad as the old one. They miss the common thing to both.
Number four thought: Love my wife more.

Stories Old and New

2007-10-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

Today I was riding around on my mountain bike past streets that were significant in the story of my family. I am visiting Brisbane for a week or so and it was on the way to where I wanted to go. Beatrice Street, Broomfield Street, Woolley Street, Goldsborough Road. Brisbane is not old and even in the first half of the 20th century these places had grown and changed quite a bit. But in my lifetime they have changed a lot too. Where my great-grandfather lived, where my mother lived, these houses have gone. Where my father lived as a child is still there but everything around is different and the suburb has changed from an almost rural edge of town to one now seen as close to the city.
As I rode I pondered the stories of my family and began to think of the way one must let go of them. It has been on my mind a lot lately; that we are each just a story. We connect with the world by adding bits to our story. Each of the great religions too add to people’s lives by allowing them into a bigger world encompassing story. Of course not all stories we tell ourselves are true or helpful and empowering. And we can lie. Scott Peck explores this idea in his book "People of theLie". It has been a long time since I read that but if I recall correctly he saw a lot of people’s problems and human evil arising through the lies they tell themselves. He’s probably right. I have listened to a rapist rationalise away his actions and one can be almost fooled into believeing the lie along with him. I mean it has to be good in order for an otherwise "normal" person to be able to perpetrate such things and live with themselves.
But I am getting into darkness there and I didn’t want to.
As I continued riding into the beautiful bushland over Mt Cootha I began to ponder the stories of the older inhabitants of this country. I remember once hearing an aborigine talking about wilderness areas and the confusion the term first caused. His people thought the towns and cities and farms were the wilderness and early discussions with white fellas on declaring wilderness were consequently misconstrued. I can only glimpse the connections with bush that a tribesman might have had or might still have. It is about the stories again. Every tree,shrub, bird and animal would fit into their story. I am sad when my grandfathers house turns to a block of units, when indian mynors invade the city and take the nest site of parrots but these things are still part of my story. I am part of the conquest of the planet in my car, in my work, on my mountainbike. I cannot really imagine the desolation caused if all my stories were wiped out by wilderness. The wilderness of city, of farming, of mining. It is easy to say aborigines should stand up and take on our story. I mean they have been forced into it by history but how do you let go of a story that is no longer the way the world is when you love that old story. It IS you.
People cling to old notions of God for the same reason. They retreat into fundamentalism, even terrorism rather than rewrite the story. Each person must find the way to reconcile the old and the new for themselves. We need to help people find stories that are helpful, reconciling, empowereing and valuing of that which they must give away to go forward.
That’s what I reckon today after a ride in the bush anyway!

House of Cards

2007-10-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend the other day about our shared beliefs. It was a meeting over coffee prompted by his desire to convince people about "Answers in Genesis", the new name for the creation science cult. I say shared beliefs but we actually have little in common at the surface level of our doctrines. And basically I think he was there to make sure I was properly "saved". I was there to listen to him and perhaps broaden his perspective on God. I thought I might be able to convince him that Creationism was bad science and bad theology though I had decided not to try convincing him with all the simple facts that can be found if you look for them. I didn’t want to just argue. However from almost his opening words I knew it was going to have to be enough to just listen and be friends.
Some people construct their faith over time and it gets grander and grander. It seems like all their life is tied up in their neat beliefs ,with all the answers in the bible or some other orthodoxy. The trouble is that sometimes the answers that come to us in life are different to the ones we’ve come to believe must always be true. There are choices at these points and they are profound. What makes them profound is the way we’ve constructed our faith until that point. I liken it to a pack of cards. (Jesus may have been thinking about it too given Matthew 7:21-27)
A faith that is built up like a house of cards gets impressive quickly. Each card is the justification of a belief we’ve added to the structure. The trouble is that if any one of these is shaken the whole lot can fall. Then it becomes imperative to not only believe but also to protect the cherished notions. One belief is dependant upon another. Too much is at stake if one is wrong. Even if it becomes obvious then stubborn denial will hang in there because to collapse the whole structure is too painful to contemplate. That’s what any kind of idolatry can do to you.
I guess it’s our personal attachments and the stories that weave into our lives that sometimes makes wonderful christians fight so ungraciously with each other over beliefs and points of doctrine.
An alternative, if you bother to keep faith, is to stack your reasons for belief flat. The trouble is that it’s not that impressive even if you’ve built up a good pile. Its true that any one can be challenged or removed and the stack looks much the same. So in that way it seems safer and more honest, though you probably won’t boast about it. Occasionally you might look over and see the house of cards and be envious. And if you start challenging beliefs, ie. taking cards away, it may quickly seem likely that you could easily take all the cards away. That can’t be right. How can you have faith with no reason for believing?
How can you have real faith if you have any reason for believing at all?
What you could still be left with if you took away all the external reasons is fairly plain and unspectacular; Faith, Hope and Love.
Sounds familiar doesn’t it. Though in my experience it’s not often tried. Most would rather a magical God do things for them, or at the very least dish up justice after we’re all dead. It’s pure human ego and in the end…
…it all turns upon man

It all turns upon man

2007-10-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

Man is once more faced with the problem of himself. He can cope with every danger except the danger of human nature itself. In the last resort it all turns upon man. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Bonhoeffer's wisdom shines through the writings which survived him. My futile thoughts frequently return to the quote above. People connect to the world with stories large and small and some of the biggest include God. He is impressive and beyond. But at the heart, he too is human, an invention and when we stand facing the future as technologically powerful as we do now we are not truly afraid of much except that which we do to each other. It all turns upon man.